Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize