Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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