somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
