i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
