420 ftw
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
