The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
