It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
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I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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