we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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