Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
