just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
