coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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