My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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