He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
