rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
