Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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