Do you still have your period?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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