i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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