I need help removing her.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
