a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
