Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
