we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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