Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
