Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
