every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
