It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
