how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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