Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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