just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
