I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
