Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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