I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
