They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
