I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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