Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
These tits shall not be calmed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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