No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
