Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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