i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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