Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You were trust falling into bushes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
