shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
