My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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