how hairy? two words: wookie tits
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
