so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
