im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to make out with him forever
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
