Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
