girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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