i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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