Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize