My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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