If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
