I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize