I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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