I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
