yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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