STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
