even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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