Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize