I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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