But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
