How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
