I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
